Writer's Forum

#1
This is where all you writers gather and just chat. Talk about writing styles and methods, ask for help on grammar and stuff, or just post your works-in-progress and ask for some feedback!



Have fun!
 
#2
Since this thread is still dead, let me insert some life into it!



I'm curious. How do you folks write your poems? I've tried writing one myself, on my gallery, but I'm not sure how to get the flow of thought going. Any tips?
 

Ruru

<img src="http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456
#3
I'm gonna help. ~



Well, I don't write poem to often so I can't say for sure, but I usually try to write what's on my mind.

And I try to make it have some flow ^^
 
#4
I see. Well, what's your opinion on rhyming and poem structure (meter, syllables, etc.) ? Are they important, or do you see them as secondary to the content of the poem?
 

Ruru

<img src="http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456
#5
Hmm, well, I see the content as the most important. And making sure it doesn't sound strange.

For example, I'm not to found of rhymes but in some poems it's part of the poem and gives of a special feeling.



Can't really explain it as I write what I feel like rather then follow rules. Never learned how to write poems....
 
#6
[quote name='Luluyuyu']Hmm, well, I see the content as the most important. And making sure it doesn't sound strange.

For example, I'm not to found of rhymes but in some poems it's part of the poem and gives of a special feeling.



Can't really explain it as I write what I feel like rather then follow rules. Never learned how to write poems....[/QUOTE]



Well, me neither.



Personally, I like rhymes. I find that Rhymes and a standardized syllable count helps in creating a certain mood in the poem. For example, my War poem (which is in my gallery) has a standard rhythm, and I feel it helps to create a sort of "marching" effect. A certain dogged persistence in the poem which is reminiscent of war. Kind of.
 
#7
well i've learned bout poem so let me say this:

poem is a work of literature that's on free form

yes free form



it doesn't matter if the syllables is too few or too much

it doesn't matter if the shape is suck

it doesn't matter if it has no meaning

it doesn't matter if it has no rhyme



just write freely of what you want from your heart





but sometimes rhyme, meaning, shape, etc is the cosmetics of the poem itself

if you think ur poem is beautiful w/o it then go ahead



if not you might want to learn more bout it



the most commonly used cosmetic is rhymes

"even if it has no meaning as long as the poem is rhymed it should be okay"

well that was rhymed guy think

they forgot that poem isn't rap
 
#8
I've been meaning to ask you folks: What's your pet writing topic? As in, which theme do you think you write best about? For me, I think it's war. I just love writing about war.
 

HappyNisa

Super Moderator
Staff member
#9
Eheh I love to write about dreams ^^" I like how everything can happen in dreams without losing logic, coz in dreams its only logical if there is no logic to be found.. ahah that sounds weird, but I'm obsessed with dreams.. and.. I really really felt like inception stole my idea D< lol but ofcourse they couldnt know I wrote something alike xD Just hate it now that the few people who I give premission to read my work now say ooh its a mix of the matrix and inception.. or some other movies/books or soemthing xD soo annoying coz i didnt steal the ideas from them >.>"I more feel like they stole it from me but that's not true either ofcourse lol.. And ofcourse soe things are based upon something I saw or read but never ever the main line of the story so i just keep my stories to myself most of the time ^^"

Oh ahah I have to admit that the first story I ever wrote was a sort of copy of a book I read, but then I changed a lot of things about it (icluding the end) becuase those were the parts i didnt like XD Ahh nostalgic~~

Oh and whenever I dont write about dreams I write about things that are inspired on my own dreams ^^ Sometimes I have such awesome dreams that I just have to write a story about it, just so I'll never forget the great dream :3
 
#10
Wow, dreams are nice to write about. Still, I prefer the grittiness and emotional shock of war. There's so much to write about: the dirt and mud everwhere, the sounds of war, the raving mad soldiers, the desperation, the despair, the homesickness, the agony. It's beautiful in a sick sort of way.
 

Alyss

=Vampiress=
#11
Let me revive this thread! *O*

I have to write a free verse poem with a good theme for someone,but with a list of random words >o>



My theme ended up being about the Concentration Camps.... >.<

Please C&C since this is a slightly rough draft~

The future is lost.

An empty prayer to the Lord.

A memorial held for the ashes of a star.

No one attends,

Afraid of the foot that tramples.

The poison of power given to one,

The corruption of dominance,

Becomes a plague to all.

The dawn of a revolution will arise,

A new day will begin.

O our Heavenly Father from above!

We cry for your salvation.

Let the curtains rise for your people,

Even if it is only for a fiction.
 

Lovely.

Hiatus-Land
#12
Alysssss!!!! <333 Ima going to Cnc ur poem, now. :3 First, I'm going to say that I know nothing about poems, well little. xD

But there seems to be flow, and it's good, only thing that confused me was the last one, "Even if it's only for a fiction" I'm guessing u mean even if it's just for a story... but IDK, I'll get Haddy to CnC. ;D
 

Alyss

=Vampiress=
#13
[quote name='Spring_' timestamp='1307249694' post='146811']

Alysssss!!!! <333 Ima going to Cnc ur poem, now. :3 First, I'm going to say that I know nothing about poems, well little. xD

But there seems to be flow, and it's good, only thing that confused me was the last one, "Even if it's only for a fiction" I'm guessing u mean even if it's just for a story... but IDK, I'll get Haddy to CnC. ;D

[/quote]

Thanks~ I was trying to make it seem hopeless (aka fiction, not reality and I had to use the word "fiction" somewhere LOL) because it's not real (since it's being compared to "curtain".

So they're hoping to be free ("curtains rising"), but they know it won't be true("only a fiction").

But I'll see if I can change it


Thankies~<3
 
#14
Okay, dearies, I'm home now, so I'll try to give an analysis of the poem. Cue fail CnC.



The future is lost.

An empty prayer to the Lord.

A memorial held for the ashes of a star.

No one attends,

Afraid of the foot that tramples.

The poison of power given to one,

The corruption of dominance,

Becomes a plague to all.

The dawn of a revolution will arise,

A new day will begin.

O our Heavenly Father from above!

We cry for your salvation.

Let the curtains rise for your people,

Even if it is only for a fiction.







First, let's break up the poems into phrases. The phrases are pretty obvious. Let's also clarify the objects and descriptors.



The future (thing) is lost (description).

An empty prayer to the Lord (description).



(no thing to describe? Unless you're still referring to the "future")

A memorial held for the ashes of a star (description).

No one attends, (result of thing)

Afraid of the foot that tramples. (cause of result)



The poison of power given to one, (thing)

The corruption of dominance, (thing)

Becomes a plague to all. (result/description)



The dawn of a revolution will arise, (thing)

A new day will begin. (thing)



(The below section flows in a different manner than the previous section. It's something like a "chorus" of a song)



O our Heavenly Father from above!

We cry for your salvation.



Let the curtains rise for your people,

Even if it is only for a fiction.



__________________________________________________



Now, you see that there are quite a few variations in phrase structure. While this isn't necessarily bad, is has a negative impact on the flow of the poem. However, this is a free-verse style of poem, so it's not really significant.



Unfortunately, I don't understand why you used "curtains rise" as a metaphor for freedom. Curtains rising is the signifier of a play; an act. If I were to interpret the poem without prior knowledge of its intended purpose, I'd say that the poet is trying to describe the people involved as actors in a tragic play, stuck to their roles without chance for freedom.



Also, you can't say that it's related to concentration camps when there is no reference to concentration camps whatsoever. Initially I thought this poem was something about war, but apparently it's concentration camps. Try relating the emotions and thoughts conveyed in the poem to actual scenes from a concentration camp (eg. Dark cells, barren courtyards, execution grounds, gas chambers). An example would be to compare the emptiness of the future to the emptiness of barren courtyards. Something like:



The future is lost.

An empty prayer to the Lord;

A barren courtyard on the grounds.



Or



The poison of power given to one,

The corruption of dominance,

Becomes a plague to all;

An affliction throughout the cells.



(oh, and this one is pretty cool because affliction can both refer to a plague and to oppression from concentration camp masters)





Basically, people reading the poem should get an effective image of a concentration camp. This is conveyed through appealing to their five senses: sight (eg. the sight of malnourished captives), hearing (eg. the sound of people crying), smell (eg. the smell of blood and bodies), taste (probably not applicable in this case, or it could be terrible concentration camp food) and touch (cold wind across the execution grounds, or perhaps scratches on a wall made by desperate captives). The combination of these factors is called imagery, which is something probably every poem should contain. Work a bit more on that, and the poem should come out nicely.





/ends fail CnC. Sorry if it was fail.
 

Alyss

=Vampiress=
#15
*O* Yay, C&C~

Well, it wasn't 100% on the camps themselves, but more on the lines of Hitler putting the hate on the Jewish (but I didn't really make that very clear >o<).

I'll probably fix up on the structure (now that you point it out, it seems really random @___@), and try to add some stuff that will let people actually know what the theme is >w<

I'll go for Round 2 later




Thanks


BTW,your C&C isn't fail... >o>
 

Kaze Araki

Libertarian Communist
#18
Nothing hard, I suppose.

Only to read and edited the grammar mistakes in them, but still keeping the writing style intact.

They are consisted of short and very short stories.

Of course, not everything in one shot, but bit by bit - one story at a time.
 

Alyss

=Vampiress=
#19
@Kaze Sure, I might be able to help you~




I changed some stuff, and tried to make the theme more obvious (which is about the Nazis persecuting the Jewish, and not about the camps itself, yeah I didn't make that very clear sorry >o<).

Our future is lost, by the power of a single hand.

Empty prayers to the Lord remain unanswered.

A memorial is held for the ashes of a star;

The star crushed by the symbol of a twisted cross.

No one attends,

Afraid of the foot that tramples.

Abandoned synagogues;

An occasional soldier,

Stands glaring at anyone daring to come close.

The poison of power given to one,

The corruption of dominance,

Becomes a plague to all.

Afflicting death to those who hold their faith with pride.

O our Heavenly Father from above!

We cry for your salvation.

May the dawn on a revolution arise;

May a new day begin.

Let the curtains rise for your people,

Even if it is only for a fiction.
 
#20
Let's see... It's pretty good now, actually, except for this bit:



An occasional soldier,

Stands glaring at anyone daring to come close.



These 2 lines break the flow of the poem. The problem is that the comma is unnecessary, and thus people read it as a complete sentence, "An occasional soldier stands glaring at anyone daring to come close". This breaks the "phrase-by-phrase" nature of the rest of the poem. You should change it so that it fits that style. You only need to tweak it a bit.



For example:



An occasional soldier stands,

Glaring at anyone daring to come close.